Just Jacques – Q&A

“Just Jacques” features posts that are written by the handsome Westie himself and often feature only pictures of him (hence “Just Jacques”). He’s not the least bit full of himself. Not at all.

Why hello. A number of my fans have asked questions about me, so I thought I would take time out of my busy nap schedule to answer them.

jacques_Q&AQ: How can you stand being so cute?
A: It is hard, but someone must do it. It is a natural talent I was born with.

Q: Why is your name French?
A: That is like asking why the sky is bleu. It just is and it is perfect that way. My Mommy says says that I am Frettish – part French, part Scottish. I do not know about that, but I do know that I am ALL handsome.

Q: Your Mom says you nap a lot. Is that true?
A: Mais oui – of course it is! How do you think I maintain my devilishly good looks? Beauty sleep is the key.

Q: Are you a picky eater?
A: The food here is… pedestrian at best. It is a little too bourgeoisie for my taste. The water is passable, but the kibble leaves much to be desired.

Q: You are a Westie so naturally you’re pretty high strung, aren’t you?
A: High strung? Mais non! I am focused. I have a keen sense and laser focus which causes me to… BUNNY!!!! Must. Get. Bunny!!!

Q: Do you prefer squeaky tennis balls or Lamb Chop?
A: Bunny! Bunny! Bunny! Huh? What? Squeaky toys? Yes! I like them.

Q: Bones or treats?
A: Bones?? Treats?? OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!! YES!! GIVE ME ONE! GIVE ME ONE!! NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!!!!!!

As Jacques collapses into a total meltdown while waiting for a b-o-n-e, I (Jacques’ Mom) will say, thanks for the questions. If you have any other questions that you’d like to ask Jacques, please feel free to leave them in the comment section below! Maybe next time we shouldn’t mention b-o-n-e-ses or t-r-e-a-t-ses though…

Jacques Almost Has A Meltdown

I may or may not like to torment Jacques (don’t judge me!). I would link you to a few examples, but really, all you have to do is read just about any post to see that. This particular time Jacques and I had been home alone all day and, in my defense, we were both bored. So, I had a brilliant idea that started like this…

IMG_3593And ended in Jacques almost having a meltdown. Luckily, I just happened to have my phone handy to capture it…

This is the abbreviated video of what happened. He went on like this – squeaking, unintentionally kicking, and subsequently chasing the tennis balls for another 10 minutes while I sat and cackled like a mad woman. He finally wore himself out and I had laughed so hard my side hurt. It was a good way to kill 15 minutes, Really it was a win-win. 🙂

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Just Jacques – They Saw London, They Saw France…

“Mommy and Daddy went to Paris and to London and all I got was this lousy… bit of NOTHING!!! They didn’t bring me home ANYTHING!! Mommy bragged about her Rosetta Stone socks and her ‘Princess’ mug (she thinks that because she is related to Charlemagne she is a princess – HA!). Then she gloated about the miniature Shaun the Sheep she bought at Harrods. She showed no remorse for not bringing me anything. I am offended. Let there be much shame upon her. I do not like it, no! This is what I think of her Shaun…

death_to_shaunAnd I would have destroyed the vile creature had she not stopped me.

IMG_3472(Don’t let the sad look on my face fool you – I was not sorry, no!. I just needed her to think I was.)

After being caught accosting Shaun, Mommy told me to calm down. She tried to reason with me and soothe me. She knew I was offended by not receiving a souvenir. She swore they looked for a Musketeer hat and a Beefeater hat (whatever those are!) for me. At first I said, ‘NO! I do not like it!’ I eventually forgave her because I kind of like her and because she is a great snuggler. But I can never calm down… who is she kidding?”

cant_keep_calm

Just Jacques – Humble Pie

“Oh, Lord, it’s hard to be humble
When you’re perfect in every way
I can’t wait to look in the mirror
‘Cause I get better lookin’ each day

To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a [dog]
Oh, Lord, it’s hard to be humble
But I’m doin’ the best that I can…”

-Mac Davis

mr-humble“Yes. Being this handsome is hard.”