Haikode Throw Down

A few weeks ago, I was asked to teach a science class at the local college. I didn’t have much time to prepare coursework before the semester began. Needless to say, I have been VERY busy. A certain someone has been very unhappy about that. He and I had a haikode (haiku + ode) throw down the other day… it went something like this:

Jacques:
play with me right now
you have been working so long
I am begging you

I don’t ask for much
just bones, snuggle time, and treats
play or I will pout

Me:
just minutes ago
we played until you walked off
play, stop, play, stop, aargh!

I have played with you
now I work to buy you treats
you’re not neglected

dueling_haikodes_playHis life is not that bad – no matter how much he complains!

Just Jacques – Q&A

“Just Jacques” features posts that are written by the handsome Westie himself and often feature only pictures of him (hence “Just Jacques”). He’s not the least bit full of himself. Not at all.

Why hello. A number of my fans have asked questions about me, so I thought I would take time out of my busy nap schedule to answer them.

jacques_Q&AQ: How can you stand being so cute?
A: It is hard, but someone must do it. It is a natural talent I was born with.

Q: Why is your name French?
A: That is like asking why the sky is bleu. It just is and it is perfect that way. My Mommy says says that I am Frettish – part French, part Scottish. I do not know about that, but I do know that I am ALL handsome.

Q: Your Mom says you nap a lot. Is that true?
A: Mais oui – of course it is! How do you think I maintain my devilishly good looks? Beauty sleep is the key.

Q: Are you a picky eater?
A: The food here is… pedestrian at best. It is a little too bourgeoisie for my taste. The water is passable, but the kibble leaves much to be desired.

Q: You are a Westie so naturally you’re pretty high strung, aren’t you?
A: High strung? Mais non! I am focused. I have a keen sense and laser focus which causes me to… BUNNY!!!! Must. Get. Bunny!!!

Q: Do you prefer squeaky tennis balls or Lamb Chop?
A: Bunny! Bunny! Bunny! Huh? What? Squeaky toys? Yes! I like them.

Q: Bones or treats?
A: Bones?? Treats?? OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!! YES!! GIVE ME ONE! GIVE ME ONE!! NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!!!!!!

As Jacques collapses into a total meltdown while waiting for a b-o-n-e, I (Jacques’ Mom) will say, thanks for the questions. If you have any other questions that you’d like to ask Jacques, please feel free to leave them in the comment section below! Maybe next time we shouldn’t mention b-o-n-e-ses or t-r-e-a-t-ses though…

Jacques Almost Has A Meltdown

I may or may not like to torment Jacques (don’t judge me!). I would link you to a few examples, but really, all you have to do is read just about any post to see that. This particular time Jacques and I had been home alone all day and, in my defense, we were both bored. So, I had a brilliant idea that started like this…

IMG_3593And ended in Jacques almost having a meltdown. Luckily, I just happened to have my phone handy to capture it…

This is the abbreviated video of what happened. He went on like this – squeaking, unintentionally kicking, and subsequently chasing the tennis balls for another 10 minutes while I sat and cackled like a mad woman. He finally wore himself out and I had laughed so hard my side hurt. It was a good way to kill 15 minutes, Really it was a win-win. 🙂

Furry Flashbacks – The Time Niko Almost Ate My Friend

A number of our blogoshpere friends know that mid-July is ruff at our house. We lost Rocky on July 14, 2014 and Niko on July 22, 2010. They were both beloved family members. To honor Niko’s memory, I decided I would share one of my favorite stories about him. It still makes me cry – but they’re tears of laughter. I can never get through the story without laughing hysterically. I hope it at least gives you a chuckle.


In the summer of 2000, my dear friend, Shaun*, came to visit. Shaun was a big guy (like 6’5”), very amiable (he’s Canadian, after all), and while quite ornery, he was (and still is) a genuinely good guy. None of that mattered to Niko. For whatever reason, Niko didn’t like Shaun.

One day during his visit, Shaun offered to get groceries and cook a curry dinner at my place. I gave him a key to the house and thought nothing more of it. While sitting at lunch with a friend, I realized that Shaun would be entering the house without me… and I wasn’t sure how Niko would handle that. My friend and I raced back to the house and saw the front door ajar. Before he had stopped the car, I jumped out and started running towards the door. I heard fierce barking and ran faster. I hit the door full force and was stopped in my tracks. The door wouldn’t budge. I was able to poke my head through the crack and couldn’t believe my eyes. There, in the small foyer, was my giant friend crouched down into a ball. Across the room was Niko – ears back, teeth showing. He was not about to let this guy into the house!

Don’t let his smile fool you… He didn’t like strangers coming into his house!

I couldn’t quite process what was going on. There were grocery sacks next to Shaun, and between Niko and him was a large package of chicken. I just stood there for a second not knowing what to do. Finally I shoved my way past Shaun and into the house. I yelled Niko’s name which seemed to get his attention momentarily before he refocused on the “intruder.” After calling his name a few more times and “petting” Shaun in a lame attempt to show Niko that Shaun wasn’t a threat, Niko finally came around and ran to me.

Once the situation was diffused, Shaun, our friend, and I finally started to laugh at the absurdity of it all. I Shaun asked if the chicken was supposed to be our dinner; he said yes. Then I asked him why it was in the middle of the room. He told me that he was hoping Niko would rather eat the chicken than him. Fair enough.

From what I remember, Shaun gave Niko some curried chicken that night which finally won Niko over (or at least helped him decide to be a little nicer to Shaun).

*Shaun isn’t the guy’s real name, but it’s close enough.

Just Jacques – They Saw London, They Saw France…

“Mommy and Daddy went to Paris and to London and all I got was this lousy… bit of NOTHING!!! They didn’t bring me home ANYTHING!! Mommy bragged about her Rosetta Stone socks and her ‘Princess’ mug (she thinks that because she is related to Charlemagne she is a princess – HA!). Then she gloated about the miniature Shaun the Sheep she bought at Harrods. She showed no remorse for not bringing me anything. I am offended. Let there be much shame upon her. I do not like it, no! This is what I think of her Shaun…

death_to_shaunAnd I would have destroyed the vile creature had she not stopped me.

IMG_3472(Don’t let the sad look on my face fool you – I was not sorry, no!. I just needed her to think I was.)

After being caught accosting Shaun, Mommy told me to calm down. She tried to reason with me and soothe me. She knew I was offended by not receiving a souvenir. She swore they looked for a Musketeer hat and a Beefeater hat (whatever those are!) for me. At first I said, ‘NO! I do not like it!’ I eventually forgave her because I kind of like her and because she is a great snuggler. But I can never calm down… who is she kidding?”

cant_keep_calm